That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
