I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
