Those balls look pretty dangerous.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
We are two peas in an std pod
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
