Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
