I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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