One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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