You work out of a Hotel?
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
