i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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