Having a random hookup so left but love u
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
