There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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