I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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