His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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