So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
