New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
