So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
