No, you can still breathe under the balls.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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