Christians are straight up FREAKS
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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