The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
