You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
