are you still at the devil's house?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
