this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Randomize
