Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
