I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
