I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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