Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
