Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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