i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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