You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
