you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
