well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
