Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
