Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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