i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Can I color on your dick again?
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
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