Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
