It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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