So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
