drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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