Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
