I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
