How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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