I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
