ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i think i have herpe
just one?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
We talked him into tasing himself.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Randomize
