I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
