I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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