she kept yelling 'call me bella'
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
