The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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