i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
