Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
