I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
