dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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